Dinner Roll Deterrence

For nearly 55 years I've have struggled (as I did today) to open the refrigerated dough dinner rolls.   But I have never had smooth sailing.   The foil tears the wrong way, I can't rip to the "black line" even exposed sometimes won't break apart.   And the little markings....is the dough supposed to pull apart easily on those marks?   Mine comes out as twisted candle shaped things.

I grew up with dark jewish bread and rolls, and so in my assimilationist moments these "dinner rolls" represented everything we weren't:  light, cheerful, sweet, airy.

I guess entry into that world was never to be easy.   I still can't open the rolls.   But on the few occasions I have a yen I suffer and feel jewishly inadequate.   It must be something my mother forgot to teach me.